Wanting Someone I Never Had...A Grandmother

Growing up I had friends who would talk about how great their grandparents were, how their grandmother did this for them, how they were going to spend time with their grandmother over the weekend, etc. It didn’t really hit home until I’m usually around my father’s side of the family…Let me give you a little background about my life…family.

On my mother’s side the only grandparent I knew was my mom’s dad who I only knew for a short time because he struggled with alcohol and my grandmother passed away when my mom was a teenager, all I had of my grandmother were a few photos and a few stories that my mom felt like sharing.

On my father’s side my grandfather passed away I believe before I was born. Heard great stories about him from my mother and how he was loving & sharp (where my daddy got it from). I even have a few photos of him (memories). My grandmother was a widow and she passed away a few years ago. I never had a real relationship with her. It was odd. I felt odd being what seemed like the only grandchild who didn’t have this fantastic relationship that my friends talked about that they had with their grandmother. I felt different when I was around my dad’s family and I didn’t call her the nickname most of her grandchildren called her. People in my family use to look at me crazy when I called her grandmother so I shortened it to grandma (lol) thinking that would help. I laugh to keep from crying because at the time it wasn’t funny, I felt out of place & left out.

One of my aunt’s told me (won’t disclose which side) that I may not know the real reason why I was treated differently, and it’s hard trying to tell someone to just accept what it was, and although now I have to and I don’t dislike or love my grandmother any less than how I wished I was treated but it’s just another piece in my life that I’m reminded that I didn’t have that gem, that piece in my life to have memories, words of wisdom & that love.

I was blessed with a “Nana,” she wasn’t my blood grandmother but she made me feel like I was one of hers.

Overall, I don’t know what it is like to be a grandchild or to play many other roles, but I’m thankful God placed someone in my life to give me someone who gave me a portion of their love. Many situations that I’ve been has placed me in a mindset of “This is what I will take from this” and how I want to be better from it and not bitter. I’m not bitter or upset about how this area in my life played out but I will say it did hurt and it does hurt to not have grandparents here to give that type of love. So cherish those relationships and others you may take for granted, because it is true

“Someone is praying to be in your place.”

#life #family #grandmother